Movie Review: Vampire Academy

Vampire Academy
My rating: 1 of 5 stars
Director: Mark Waters
Genre: Action/Adventure, Sci-Fi/Fantasy
Released: February 7, 2014
Duration: 1 hr 44 min
Cast: Zoey Deutch, Lucy Fry, Danila Kozlovsky, Gabriel Byrne, Sarah Hyland
Rated: PG-13

Synopsis:

Rose Hathaway is a Dhampir: half human/vampire, guardians of the Moroi, peaceful, mortal vampires living discretely within our world. Her legacy is to protect the Moroi from bloodthirsty, immortal Vampires, the Strigoi. This is her story.






My Thoughts {bzzzzzzzz}:

Guys. So, I watched Vampire Academy last night. I don't know if the trailers were any indication but IT WAS FUCKING HORRIBLE.

No, really like totally down the toilet bowl needs desperate help deserves a painful slow death needs to DIE cringe-worthy awkwardness really really really fucking awful shit.

I don't usually swear that much but man does this movie warrant that.

But now let's backtrack to BEFORE Vampire Academy the Book was even going to be made into Vampire Academy the Most Horrible Movie on the Planet.

Okay, ready?

Good.

I read VA and then I was like "Wow this is actually pretty good."

Then I read the next 5 books and was like "WOW this is a damn good series. Really Richelle Mead YOU deserve an award."

Fast foward a few years later. Me: 

"Oh, finally VA is being optioned film rights! Took you long enough to make the awesomeness that is Vampire Academy being made onto the big screen."

  

Then, we finally get the casting and blah blah blah.

But then one of the most important part comes:

the trailer

And my reaction was like "ehh...it doesn't look too bad but it doesn't look great either. I'm still excited though!"

Then, the second trailer comes out and I'm like "NOW this is more like it. Give me somethin' more like this."

Now, I'm generally pretty excited for February 7th and can't wait to see the movie. Finally, after a long awaited wait, I get to go the theater.

So, I sit down watching a blank screen (I got there around 45 minutes early don't ask me why), munching on my popcorn and anticipating this movie. I'm thinking, "I hope they really portray the quality of the book onto the big screen well" and "this is so cool, I can't wait to see Rose kick some ass."

Whoa, was I so very, so THOROUGHLY disappointed. 

Don't get me wrong, I had some doubts before I went to see the movie as I do with all YA book to movie adaptations. But did I ever in my wildest dreams think that VA would be THIS horrible as a movie? The answer would be no. I didn't think the movie people would or could screw it up this bad. Honestly, this was one of the worst movies I've ever seen and not to mention THE worst book to movie adaptation I have ever seen.

It's really a shame because the Vampire Academy series is one of my favorites and the movie was nothing like it. Not even close. The line of offenses are so long I can't even count. My tweets after the movie will give you just a few: 

I just watched Vampire Academy. I don't really know what to say. It sucked so badly that I have no words. No pun intended.
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

Please can I just unsee this horrible horrible film.
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

That was one of the most horrible movies I've ever seen. No joke. #VAMovie
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

Ohmygosh I just can't get over it. Richelle Mead's books are NOTHING compared to the movie. They totally RUINED it.
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

There were so many things wrong with VampireAcademy but 1 thing that was just horrible was the acting. Freakin atrocious that was. #VAMovie
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

I hate to say it but Twilight was better. Yes. TWILIGHT. and I absolutely HATE Twilight. #VAMovie
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

Ugh I just.... so bad, so unbelievably bad #VAMovie
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

The whole thing sucked but a huge thing that irked me was the acting and rushed pacing. It just blurred from one scene to the next and the scenes itself felt very rushed as well. Oh, and the acting. Couldn't you guys just get that one thing right? Is that too much to ask? That was HORRENDOUS.

The bottom line is when you go see a movie you really shouldn't be cringing and rolling your eyes every other second. That's just poor.

The really sad and disappointing thing for me was that the movie didn't do the books justice AT ALL.

@Ldnicolescu yeah it really was. And I  thought it was gonna be so much better. Very disappointing. Didn't do the book justice at all :(
— Brianna (@briannabookbuzz) February 9, 2014

The only best part I can think of was The Fault in Our Stars and Divergent trailers (if that counts). Oh, and the ending.

Have any you guys seen the movie? If you have, tell me what you think. Don't worry I won't bite your head off if you do happen to like it. It just wasn't my cup of tea.

Review: The Fault in Our Stars by John Green

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Series: Standalone
Reading Level: Young Adult
Publisher: Dutton Books January 10, 2012
Pages: 313

Synopsis:

Despite the tumor-shrinking medical miracle that has bought her a few years, Hazel has never been anything but terminal, her final chapter inscribed upon diagnosis. But when a gorgeous plot twist named Augustus Waters suddenly appears at Cancer Kid Support Group, Hazel's story is about to be completely rewritten.
  






My Thoughts {bzzzzzzzzzz}:

• The Scene

Just look at the synopsis for this book. Shows you that it's about cancer and teenagers. With that said, I was very reluctant to read The Fault in Our Stars. I wasn't all to ecstatic to read about cancer and have my heart ripped out. But, really you should give this book a go because, yes even though it ripped my heart to shreds, it is a damn good story about life, love, and growing up (cheesy as that may sound).

• The Girl

Hazel was a very likable character. She didn't rub me the wrong way. I felt for her. I'm so glad that Shailene Woodley is playing her in the movie. I think she'll do a superb job of portraying Hazel.

• The Boy(s)

Augustus Waters. He made this book so heartfelt. There's really not much I can say without spoiling anything so my advice to you is to just read The Fault in Our Stars. 

• The WTF?!

Yeah, so normal teenagers don't talk like Augustus and Hazel. Halfway through the book I was trying to see if I could talk like them but it kinda just came out like I was reciting poetry and talking about metaphors. Simply put, it didn't really work. I also came to the conclusion that to have dialogue like Augustus and Hazel you have to really think. Hard. And let me tell you it's very difficult to think stuff like that on the spot. You gotta like sit down and write it. So yeah I really liked reading about their clever choice of words but I felt like it was a little unrealistic. But then again I think maybe that's a part of the reason why I like The Fault in Our Stars so much. (Besides the tragic love story and fear of oblivion, among other things.) It wasn't the typical teenager talk. Sure it had some of that (not much) in it but for the most part it was different albeit sometimes it felt like John Green tried too hard (with the dialogue) and Hazel and Gus kinda talked the same way. Like really, their two different people.

• The Buzz

I feel like I shouldn't post any gifs of crying in this review seeing as how other readers and reviewers have adequately (okay maybe excessively) done their shared duty of said crying gifs. So, I won't. But I will say this: reading this book will probably make you cry, maybe not full blown snot induced hysteria but perhaps a light misting of the eyes or a subtle frog in your throat. I mean that's what happened to me (the latter not the former). Whatever type of tear you shed, make no mistake, The Fault in Our Stars will affect you. (Unless you're a robot.) And now, let us go watch the movie and torture ourselves even more. Maybe that's what John Green intended. I swear, authors. Always messing with our heads. And hearts.

• My Favorite Quotes

"They don't kill you unless you light them," he said as Mom arrived at the curb. "And I've never lit one. It's a metaphor, see: You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you don't give it the power to do its killing."

--Augustus

"Oh, I wouldn't mind, Hazel Grace. It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you."

--Augustus

"I can't talk about our love story, so I will talk about math. I am not a mathematician, but I know this: There are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collection of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. A writer we used to like taught us that. There are days, many of them, when I resent the size of my unbounded set. I want more numbers than I'm likely to get, and God, I want more numbers for Augustus Waters than he got. But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful."

--Hazel

"I thought of my dad telling me that the universe wants to be noticed. But what we want is to be noticed by the universe, to have the universe give a shit what happens to us--not the collective idea of sentient life but each of us, as individuals."

--Hazel